Big fucking brother.

I'm just letting people know that I'm writing this as it's on the fucking tele infront of me, Mary's got the remote, I've ran out of beak and basically.. I fucking hate it and want to get it out of my system before I start neck-jabbing Barry and he doesn't deserve it the little bog-eyed beaut.

I don't know about the rest of the scouse majority, but I personally can NOT stand wannabe fucking idiots on my tele 24 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing better than watching some fucked up, desperate, cringe worthy slag cry on live television but I just think that 'Big Brother' has gone and will always continue to go downhill unless it involves drugs. 

Who on the entire fucking planet wants to watch 12 dickheads sit around on a fucking L shaped couch, telling each other what films they've appeared in or what their number 1 and only number 1 song was back in 2000 and fucking 1. Yer, I'm on about you there, fucking Romeo. I'm not just leathering Romeo here by the way but if he's a fucking celebrity then so are them 3 gimps from '3 of a kind'.. you know.. the fucking cunts that sang 'Babycakes' about 10 years ago. 

Anyway, surely there must be a borderline from when somone is and isn't a celebrity, I seriously haven't seen 1 single celebrity in that house. Fair enough, I've seen 2 fucking tidy birds from America who are Hugh Hefners ex-girlfriends but apart from them, I see no other fucking reason to watch this show.

That Andy has just appeared, so I'll move onto him. WHO THE FUCK IS HE? From what I've heard he's simply a fucking queer in a shit band who loves dancing like a fairy? He's just also told Romeo that he is straight. Basically, what I wrote about 2 fucking seconds ago about him being a queer is wrong. Listen Andy, Jesus is never wrong. No straight lad would ever die their fucking barnet. Not only die their barnet but fucking ruin their barnet for the sake of attention. Why the fuck would you do that to your head? Queer. #KWEER

FUCK OFF, Frankie has came on now, for a start, undo the top fucking button on your Burton shirt you absolute full time gobshite. I reckon he's brought 1 pair of undies and he's fucking wearing them. I've always imagined him to smell like sheer shite, well.. not exactly shite but I can imagine him to not use aftershave and just spray himself with fucking Sure Sport before he goes out. You all know they type, the type of smell that comes out of the Quarry Quarter in Matthew Street. Anyway, what has gave THAT, I'm using THAT because he's a fucking THAT from now on, alright! the right to class himself as a celebrity? This show is fucking doing my head in and I'm looking forward to him turkeying for a stripe the fucking scruffy THAT. 

Infact I might even watch this shit show on my laptop and hope them two sisters get in the shower together so I can 'Print-Screen' the fuck out of it like I did years ago on MSN like when I had the lads around and some little Wirral head on webcam - "I'll show you my boobs but is anyone there with you Jee?", "Noooo, I'm on my own, honest".. When really I had 12 disciples hiding behind the wardrobe. You know use have fucking done it.

WAYS TO MAKE BIG BROTHER BETTER

• Give them beak or any other Class A drug on demand
• Don't ever feed Frankie, let him starve
• Take away the use of clothing, let them all fucking Adam and Eve it
• Tell them that they must have sex to avoid eviction
• Put me in - Because, lets face it, I'd cause fucking murder in there

Just a thought here, I think that if you swerved the whole celebrity thing and just lashed for instance, Purple Aki, a few steroids, ale, garys and a 11 unsuspecting 18 year old slags in, it would possibly make the best television on the face of the earth. Just watching him harrass the fuck out of people, asking them to squat and monitoring the progress of ther biceps.

Stay #Jeem