Friday, 16 March 2012

Useless celebrities & Shit comedians.

Just sitting off in my FTM undies and watching the tele with a fat bowl of Koka noodles I couldn't help but think that there are too many people out there, getting money, for doing fuck all. Before I start, I would just like to say that I am not racist, sexist, age'ist or fucking redhead'ist. 

USELESS CELEBRITIES

Where do I start here? There's too many of them, running around, getting there fucking shitty photo taken and pouting about everywhere thinking they run the place. Prime fucking suspect - Paris Hilton, who the fuck on earth does this silly little slag think she is? Maybe her dad does own one of the biggest fucking hotel branches in the world.. but that doesn't take away the fact that his daughter a stupid little fucking slag with size 13 feet. Yes, size 13 fucking feet. Feet the length of my fucking shin bone. This slut is famous for making a porno, a shit porno at best. I made a better one with Eve in the fucking back kitchen, had her licking my gooch and everything, do you see me selling it and calling it Christmas Eve? No.

Moving on so that I dont sound like a fucking 'Hilton Hater', there are plenty more gobshites out there, people that have millions in their bank accounts yet go on adverts asking me to give 3 fucking quid to sponsor some fucked up gorrila in Africa that I will never see. But it will write me a fucking letter letting me know how it's getting on, I'm not a fucking 10 year old and wanting a 'pen-pal' relationship with a fucking massive monkey that hasn't got a clue how to hold a ball-point pen. Fuck off, why don't you just give it 3 grand mate then it will be sorted for life. Fucking bellend. 

Another thing that burns my head out is when they dip there fingers in all kinds, Justin Bieber has got a fucking perfume out, what is he playing at? Not only this, there's soft cunts going out and buying it and thinking that they smell like the little queer himself. Where is he now anyway? The little fucking bowlhead.

SHIT COMEDIANS

There is nothing worst than seeing a comedian on the tele that is utterly shit. Now like I said in the introduction I am not a racist or sexist but Gina Yashere is fucking terrible. I think that any person that goes onto a stage with only racial jokes to tell because she's 'black' appreantly, she fucking tells us enough, is a fucking top dickhead. Here's an example..
"Yer, so I was walking down the street yer, Insert black joke here___________________________"  and that's the basis of all of her jokes. Fuck off Gina. Change your name to Gina Yashit.

Another dickhead famous for this is Chris Rock, this little squeaky cunt couldn't say a fucking sentence without using the word black. You don't see fucking Lee Evans or Jimmy Carr on stage talking about how white they are do you? Fucking NO. Now I'm not saying they're good, they just don't go around shouting "Look at me, I'm fucking white, can you tell?".

Russell Howard is just shit in every single way, anyone can stand infront of a fucking massive screen and get pictures up by going on Google and typing in 'funny fucking pictures' and chat shit. This bad idiot reminds me of a 10 year old who's had one too many blue Smarties and a can of fucking Dr.Pepper. Plus, his eyes are too close together the little fucking bog-eyed inbred.

I don't know where to start with this next one, I'll say his name in fucking capital letters though becuase I hate him that much - TIM MINCHIN. Possibly the most overated comedian on the planet. I watched a show of his a few weeks ago and wondered why he had an audience full of disabled laughaholics. Surely they were fucking brainwashed or spiked before they bought their ticket? This scruffy bastard comes on stage looking rough as fuck and just chats full on proper wet for 2 hours straight. People laugh at him, people fucking laugh, at fucking him. He stands there, plays a piano, talks shit and people laugh. What the fuck is this world coming to? I don't know of any scouser that rates him as a comedian. If i seen him out, I'd get a sausage and bean pasty from Sayers, make sure it was fucking roasting and launch it at his grid.

Anyway, Mary's made me dinosaurs, smiley faces and waffles so, INABIT.

Stay #Jeem.

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