HACKERS, why I hate them and why they're going to HELL.

I started my day off pretty fucking decent, woke up with a fat semi-on, blasted one out whilst wastching Judge Judy then enjoyed a nice bowl of Beakabix. In my eyes, it was the perfect start to any fucking day. 

Putting my robe on and heading off out on 'the graft', smellling of 1 million and lookin Jeem as fuck I felt fucking boss... BUT...something was going to happen that ruined my whole fucking night. 

Tweeting away as usual, on my blower, me, BIG fucking JEE, was loving life. That was until my page decided it wanted to refresh and ask me. The fucking owner. For the password. Typing my obviously shite password in then getting rejected a number of times made me fucking rage. I spat at some old woman for asking if I was Jesus and told some fella to fuck off because he stood on my robe, which is a legitamite reason... he stood on my fucking robe... In the rain.

..So, realising the worst day of my life was just about to begin and walking around in a fucking soggy robe I decided to think of happier time, like when I was on the cross doing the helicopter with my lash out to the Romans. 

In reality I knew my account was fucked, how could anyone have the fucking heart to HACK a religious bastard? Not only a religious bastard, a fucking scouse religious bastard. 

I couldn't help but think which fucking sad person would 'hack' a Jesus account on Twitter, out of all the celebrities they can choose from... me... a fucking scouse Jesus...

I could put a tenner bet on the fucking hacker being a middle-aged, single, fat, red head. Now I have nothing against red heads, I'm not a redhead'ist, but I just seemed to imagine him, sitting there, eating a Pot Noodle, wearing a fucking thermal vest and stinking of sheer shite.

Standing there, next to Barry and selling beak to punters the only thing I could do was watch on as some proper blag Jesus, used my account and decided to 'retweet' every single cunt that said hello. I'll be honest, I was fucking devastated.

Grafting my arse off, stood in the rain I decided to contact an old friend, probably the biggest fucking nerd on the planet to help secure my account for what would be the second fucking time. Let's hope it's done right now ay lad.

Just to let people know, I am back on @JesusChristFTM and I am also no longer using Facebook.

This BLOG in short.

• Hackers are wools
• Facebook is shit
• I am sound

Stay #Jeem