So, I decided that last night I would have a heavy one. Now I'm not into these 'Student Nights' that involve wools from everywhere. Coming to my city, standing next to me in a fucking cramped and sweaty room breathing all their wool breath over me then staring at me with their gary'd up eyes because I go out in a fucking robe.
But.
Last night was an exception, I was celebrating my last public mass until the main fucking big one on my birthday, Christmas day. Me, Moses and a few of the disciples all heard about this club, it was called Medication. Eager to know what it was we decided to pull over a firm of beauts, as we asked them, their faces lit up and they replied "yer man, we know were dat club is, it's immense in there, it's really epic and full of chicks".
There was an awakward silence.. followed by extreme outburst laughter from our side which led to these fucking idiots walking away with red, embarrased wool faces.
We shortly found out the details on this event and starting making blag I.D, how I got in on mine I will fucking never know. My name on it was Jermain Chris, I was mixed race and had fucking corn rows.
Later that night..
Queing up for this Medication took the piss, there were two fucking 'doormen', both of which looked about fucking 18, standing there in their "get on me in my hi-vis vest, I've got authority" uniform acting all legit as if their dad didn't get them the fucking job. Once passin these pair of bad bullheads we got to the main door, where the actual legit doormen where, even these thick bastards checked our I.D's. How the fuck I got my University of Bethlehem I.D passed two sets of testosterone fuelled knobheads i will never know.
Anyway, we got in the club, the music was decent, it wern't rammed an the ale was fucking cheap so we all felt fucking boss. This feeling lasted about an hour, after this the place was swarming with wools in Toms and slags from Wales, Newcaste, Manchester and Bootle all wearing tiny Santa suits. Suits that were basically saying, "If you buy me a 1 quid bevvy, I'll let you finger me over there in the corner".
I'll admit it, the birds in there were fucking spot on and I got my fingers wet numerous times but the bad fucking thing about this place which made it an absolutely shite night was how fucking rammed it was by 12 bells. I had to fucking give some lad a dead leg for knocking into me, I don't know who the fuck he thought he was fist pumping his way around the place as if he fucking owned it. I put my bevvys on the side, walked behind him, waited for his feet to leave the ground during a 'whole body' fist pump then fucking volleyed him in the hamstring. He never even done anything, then again, would you do anything to someone standing there in a fucking North Face robe with long hair and a quality beard? No.
This place didn't even start to get quiet, people after people just kept coming in, I mean, I've fed the 5 fucking thousand but it looked nothing like that in there. These so many thousand wools all dressed in the same fucking gear once again, and what the fuck is it with them jeans that go tight around the ankle? What is it with fucking wools and why do they like getting their ankles out the fucking weird bellends?
Fuck this.
We'd all seen enough, never again will me an the boys enter that WoolFest. We made our way to Burger King and walked straight to the front of the queue because the security guard in there went to my school and he know's I'd punch fuck out of him if he started. Buying leather gloves off the internet and thinking he's mad on the Burger King door. Fucking pleb.
If you're scouse, don't go Medication, or fucking 'Med' whatever it's fucking called.
Stay #Jeem
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